Hi All! So it has been a fun week or so, knowing about the baby GIRL has made things a lot more real for the two of us. On Monday we had an appointment at a baby day care center. Thats right, still have 5 months to go and we are having to look into this crap. Somehow there is a kind of Kool-Aid that we have been neglecting to drink because the waiting lists for these places are all starting at about a year and go up from there. What a scam! Quite a few of them treat it like you are applying to some Ivy League College and want to interview the Parents! Sometimes even the Kids themselves. I thought I saw it all with the Wedding Racket, But I have found that the Baby side of things is a much darker place. I swear that people are losing sight of the fact that these wonderful little kids are just KIDS. What is wrong with letting the little ones just be children without trying to make the parents feel that, unless they go to the "school" that has a chamomile potpourri scented nap time after a half hour yoga session, they will be forever damaging this child's chances at being successful in life. Of course there will be a fee, paid upfront of course, that covers said parents even being considered for their fine establishment.
So yeah we paid the fee, and actually the place we are signed up for is not nearly as bad as all that. I was very impressed because the place didn't smell like that sickening mix of syrup and baby powder that some how builds up whenever any more than 3 kids are in the immediate vicinity of each other. They even have a real Chef in there to cook the meals that are designed by a Nutritionist. Part of me says that just because you can chop celery into sticks and serve it with Jello does NOT make you a Chef. But hey, for the amount of money it will cost, I would feel stupid paying it to a place that only had a Celery-chopper and not a Chef.
The place has been open for 25 years, and for 20 of them there has been this parrot there. Not joking at all. Aga and I didn't even realize there was a bird there until we heard a beeping. Kind of like a cell phone with a missed call on it. Right behind us was this crusty old parrot, the staff introduced it as, and I quote "The Creepiest Bird Ever". If that bird was ever released it would find it's home in a dark ally trying to sell dirty pictures to small children and invalids. At one point I tried to make friends with the potential criminal. It just turned to look at me and gave me this sound that can only be described as the sound that that Dinosaur on Jurassic Park made right before it killed the Fat Guy from Seinfeld. You know the one I'm talking about.
The high point of the day, at least for me, came after we ate dinner. As we were driving home, Maja started kicking my wife in the bladder. We must have conceived the female Pele, because it seemed as if Maja was going for a corner kick during the FIFA finals. Aga was begging me to hurry up home before She started peeing everywhere. I was laughing so hard that I almost had to pull over. Best Kid Ever. She is definitely going to be Daddy's Little Girl.
Well, until next time, O'Neil.... Out
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