The Infamous Poop Story and more fun

Hello everybody, it's Jeff again. Sorry for taking so stinkin' long to write again. I have been hoping to keep this blog a little Maja-centric, so when you only see your Daughter for 3 hours a day and all she does in that time frame is eat and sleep and then yell at you for the bath water being too warm, there isn't a whole lot to write about.

That was then, this is now.

She has gone from being a near catatonic poop factory to getting an identifiable personality and a peculiar like for almost all things Daddy-related. I say "almost all" things because a bottle-wielding Daddy is no match for a boob, but it makes you wonder...



Okay! just kidding!! We do have our cuddle times where she grins at me from around a rubber nipple, but believe me, real boob trumps Daddy every time.

If you have been reading the blog, you will know that the little girl had some issues with her... uhhh... "out box". By the end of those ten days I was feeling a bit like Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin. We called the Hospital about it and we were told that we should first try sticking a thermometer in her booty and give a twist.

I shall let the full horror of that sink in for just a second.

Now, I don't know how Hitler ran over the top of Poland so easily, but I am pretty sure that if they had come in and said "Your job is to put ze Temperaturmessgerät un ze babies arsch" then there would have been a whole different outcome to that squabble. The Polish folk get angry when told to put stuff anywhere near there kids butt. But it was Doctor's Orders, so Aga determined that I was to do it. All that goes through my head is "I am Maja's role model for what a Man Should Be". So what happens when this "role model" is having to poke objects into her booty? This is a question better left unanswered I tell ya! The only time I did do it, I had to have Aga hold her legs from kicking because my other hand was covering Maja's eyes so she couldn't see that it was me. And the real pisser is that it didn't work! I was expecting a gushing torrent of... stuff to come flying out. So we skipped the rest of that and went straight to prune juice. That stuff is amazing! One half of a tablespoon in her bottle of milk at night and she pooped for the next 36 hours straight, we are not really sure if she stopped. I really think the prune industry is missing out on a great point of advertising; "Will Prevent The Insertion Of Foriegn Objects Into Subjects Less Than One Year Old".

I swear my next post will be cleaner than this, but I had to get this of my chest.